Why do i feel so uncomfortable aroung guys? They typically don't feel uncomfortable or disconnected around all men, mainly the ones who act the most stereotypically masculine - 'Guy's guys', 'Manly men', 'Bros'. Another thing is that while you may look at a laconic guy and think, "Wow, what a powerful, self-possessed man of few words", he may very well think of himself as someone who just sucks at talking to people, and who wishes he was better at thinking of things to say. I've been abused by men most of my life. His friend, who has similar clothes and mannerisms, could be into science fiction and politics. Never mind that fights are pretty rare, they're still a little afraid of the idea of it. It's for the same reasons you'd want to be able to get along with any type of person. Even if guy's guys aren't really your style, you may still want to be able to get along with them when you meet them, because they are pretty common. This isn't an overnight solution, but one thing that helps is to learn something about fighting . Why does a guy feel uncomfortable around you? in Psychology. Why would people who are narcissistic ask if I'll miss them? Or that I don't feel as weird talking to girls that are tomboys, but if those same traits were in a guy, I would feel way more uncomfortable and guarded, which makes socializing with other guys more difficult. Just try talking to him like you would any other person. If you've always kept your distance from this group it's easy to assume that every guy who comes off as a guy's guy at first glance is exactly the same. Im not gay, but ive just never really been around guys. I have my dream job, a steady income. He may have been picked on or rejected by more stereotypically male kids while growing up, most likely for one of the other points on this list. Whenever a guy tries to flirt with me, I immediately get nervous and, like, scared? Or maybe you're not good at dealing with loud, rowdy conversations. 0 0. You may meet two bros who have similar interests, but you find one is just kind of a dick, and the other is laid back and friendly, even if you don't like golf and cars as much as he does. However, if they start kissing in front of me that's where I feel uncomfortable. why do i feel uncomfortable around guys in public? I've experienced it all. It's really frustrating me and I'm stuck in this horrible loop-hole. What does Tom Cruise's meltdown (rant) the other day reveal about his personality, character, mental state, etc.? They tease each other a lot. Hi guys. It's an Oedipal complex (err, the female version, which, in this case is penis envy), You need a a guy who poses the philosophical question of "whose yo daddy?". Most guys are just as uncomfortable, especially if they like you. I wouldn't say nervous more uncomfortable. Sometimes it's just not possible, and I'm not advising you to pretend to love something that bores you to death just to get some people's approval. Men can’t help but feel attracted to the aloof girl because she’s not all in their face 24/7. The main thing to keep in mind here is that you are not completely responsible for how well any one social interaction goes. This is especially true if someone is using that sense of superiority in an ego-protecting way, where on some level they want to get along with other men better, but have decided it will never work, and do the sour grapes thing. If my significant other and I are having a … Ty says: July 20, 2012 at 1:41 am I’m a married 49 yo and I am trying to come to my wife. Some like to toy with a guy on a date and then refuse to satisfy him because it makes them feel they've 'won the game'. Funnily enough, I feel more comfortable around girls, but I like being around guys more, despite my nervousness. They tend to unconsciously enforce these gender roles, being quick to label a guy who doesn't act like a typical male as 'not a real man' or a pussy or a fag (i.e., they can be pretty sexist and homophobic in that they see anything that's feminine or 'gay' as a negative). I think we have to get used to them...i really don't know any solution...maybe try to pretend they are girls. I've been writing about social skills for over ten years. I can't even remember when this started, but for years now I feel uncomfortable around older men (older than me by 10+ years; I'm 21). Bisexuality. It would do every straight man some good to walk in a woman’s shoes. Mostly it's just to be entertaining, but it can also be a way to keep someone else's behavior in line. I feel that way about older white guys. Like all stereotypes this isn't entirely true, but in general guy's guys communicate on a more surface level. but then again the situation I'm thinking of is when you know her or you're friends with her which doesn't sound like what you're describing. As a wife, i think the coolest way to handle men hitting on your wife (as long as nothing happens between the two) would be to stay calm about it. That's a girl drink"). I think it's more that if a boy is wary of guy culture to begin with, then growing up mostly around women can amplify that effect). I really don't know why. I have observed that when they talk to other guys they always make eye contact but when I speak to them they don't make eye contact that much. He's always seen typical male behavior as vaguely ignorant and ridiculous. It always backfired, and I had a lot of self-hatred for a long time. Being seen as tough is important to them. Their sense of humor can sometimes be a bit harsh and cutting. WE ARE ALL THE SAME. I'm by myself A LOT so maybe I've developed some kind of personality disorder. Sometimes they are really are overly macho and immature and simplistic. Click here to go to the free training. 10. Hanging around them you get the feeling that they're always competing for status under the surface. There are several, often connected, reasons a male may feel off-balance around guy's guys. Are you worried about wasting the prime of your life on a man who won’t commit to you? If a guy doesn't connect with them he may feel lonely, alienated, or somehow flawed for frequently meeting people he feels he can't relate to. My first friend ever was a boy. A free guide to getting past social awkwardness, may want to be able to get along with them just to 'even out' being ostracized by them in the past, I talk about this pragmatic idea elsewhere on the site, new groups of people who all know each other. Literally, pointing out everything that seems ’wrong’ with others and deciding what’s best for them. How do you deal with being left out and feeling no one cares? I feel the same way. Why is that? Being stuck in an uncomfortable situation is never fun, and it can even … Follow. The other thing to realize is that if you got picked on by guy's guys as a kid is that not everyone stereotypical male you'll ever meet is guilty or the exact same as the jerks who gave you a hard time. One fear some guys have is having to talk with another man who's the so-called strong silent type. I know that some people often feel stressed around their preferred gender but I’m not even straight. What type of uncomfortable and anxious feeling is it? Of course, when people identify as socially awkward they naturally tend to put all the blame on themselves if a conversation has some snags. Asked by Wiki User 13 14 15 Answer. Why do men have such a difficult time being friends with gay men? I feel terrible to think like that. You are just more comfortable with girls because there are less implications than with guys. If the guy isn't someone I'm attracted too then treating them like a girl works. I have a boyfriend and I want to live with him. I'm not really shy, though. To add some salt to that wound, he may have then been negatively compared to a brother who was the epitome of a typical male. That's the farthest thing from the truth. Of course getting into something you don't care about isn't the easiest task. I get turned on by lesbians. They think it's lame or suspicious if a guy mostly has female friends, or isn't into football, or doesn't have a 'manly' enough personality. Like everyone else, guy's guys also have their own personalities beyond what social category they fall into. What will big cities look like in future? They use stereotypically male communication styles. Most of the time they're good-natured and get along with everyone fine. They're just regular people who have slightly different interests and an outlook on life than you do. every time i'm out with my friends and a guy comes over chatting me up ( which is fine) but wen they put they're hands around my waist and touching me and kissing me, i get so uncomfortable. Top Answer. 2011-04-02 02:51:56. I'm really not trying to paint guy guy's as simplistic robots though. Honestly I'm one of the most confident people I know lol. Why do i feel so uncomfortable around guys? If you feel nervous around attractive people, or you feel negatively affected by handsome men (or beautiful women) like Kristi, it boils down to your underlying associations with attractive people. I am like that too.I also don't have any brothers and never saw my dad since the i was 6, so I don't have a male presence in my life. Sure, guy's guys aren't perfect, but every subculture has its flaws. Believe me, I was once uncomfortable with women, but I followed the mantra of "whose yo daddy?" If you act uptight and shy around these guys or a guy, that will make them feel uncomfortable too or send them signals that you're not really liking your time with them. It would make me feel disgusted. Since a lot of men who don't click with other guys had problems with them growing up, they sometimes have very conflicted Love-Hate feelings. It's human nature to seek approval from people or groups who have rejected you. If it’s on the romantic side, I have the same issue as you. Doesn't mean our entire conversation has to revolve around awkward talk regarding what gay artist I like the most and is Cher or Madonna fiercer (seriously, I've gotten that before.). Please do not copy, reproduce, or translate any articles without permission. If that's the case I think this is one area where someone really has to be aware of what their motivations are. They're not flawless. If you've been feeling particularly down due to insecurity or conflict then that vibe will be noticed and some guys don't know how to take that. ould go either way. One guy wearing a bro uniform could be a walking embodiment of everything that repels you about the stereotype. The worst that happens to them is they occasionally get mildly irritated when someone judges them for not being 'male' enough or they get exposed to the kind of masculine behavior that makes them roll their eyes. A social issue some men have is that they feel a bit ill at ease around other males. It's so frustrating and I wish I could act normal around them. I think that's a very good motive that doesn't make me feel comfortable at all. I can't even remember when this started, but for years now I feel uncomfortable around older men (older than me by 10+ years; I'm 21). I struggle to connect with them on an emotional level. I’m not sure why I’m like this but I hate this feeling. I’m ace aro but I still don’t know how to act around men. And take pride in it. They see a guy's guy as if he's some imposing creature from another planet. This brings me to my main point. The first situation that doesn't involve a girl, but that doesn't mean it's … my uncle really creeps me out and i don't like sleeping over anywhere if there's any males there. He was skinny, overweight, or physically uncoordinated growing up, which led to him getting picked on, or just not being able to keep up with other guys in the areas that were important to them, like playing sports or being tough. It's at the point where if a guys smiles at me I just put my head down and don't smile back. He was a bit wimpy and unassertive growing up, leading to the same problems as in the point above. This article will cover the traits of these so-called guy's guys, reasons a male may not feel he clicks with them, some of the complicated reasons he may want to learn how to get along with them better, and some suggestions on how to do that. Instead, the best you can do is be conscious of others' around you, but not let it stop you from being who you are. That he was looking at me in the wrong way. Many of their traits aren't inherently negative, they're just one style of looking at the world (some are hard to defend though). He may be turned off by other aspects of bro culture, like their emotional cluelessness or their anti-intellectualism. If you're overly sensitive or you take it too personally you won't be able to hang. They don't talk about their feelings or vulnerabilities a ton, especially with people who aren't close friends. Also, there's this cute guy who flirts with me that I'd REALLY love to talk to! Wiki User Answered . Make sure he derives his inflated ego from your ultimate source of pumping and thrusting. I would cry because I was uncomfortable around men, to the point I was even afraid to be on the bus because I was scared that a man had evil intentions. For example, a guy's macho father may have always been disappointed that he was more interested in reading than going hunting. Why do I feel uncomfortable around older guys? While growing up he had a difficult relationship with an adult who was a typical man's man. if not trust instinct. Being able to take part in certain things can very quickly move you from being on the outside to one of the guys. I'm not sure. If I do smile back I'll get really red faced and if I don't then I've missed a chance at meeting someone. They may even cringe away every time a guy gets loud or starts gesturing a little too wildly. Some do it to show off for their friends. But yeah once you’re around them a lot, you don’t get as nervous. He always had a personality that didn't fit that of a stereotypical male (e.g., he was more emotionally sensitive than what his peers considered acceptable). The Duke and Duchess of Sussex landed a £30million … The solution: Think awesome thoughts, girl!You are amazing, so keep that in mind. As simplistic as it seems, some men's criteria for judging whether someone seems like a good guy is just something like, "Can he have a few beers and talk about hockey?". I mean there ARE a lot of creepers out there, but it's probably just anxiety. Before long you'll realize they're nothing special. They subscribe to stereotypical gender roles and tend to look down on any guy who doesn't act like a man 'should'. Anonymous. If you've decided you want to be able to get along with guy's guys better here are some practical tips on how to do it. Though you may never be a full out bro, you're tired of feeling uncomfortable around those types and want to be able hang out with them without feeling so out of your element. but when i hang out with guys (just as friends), i have no problem looking at them, laughing, smiling, and talking. The problem is that in most locations these typical guys seem to make up a good chunk of the men you'll run into. Wiki User Answered . The thing about negative people is that they rarely realize they are negative, and because you feel uncomfortable saying anything (and you’re even more uncomfortable keeping that in your life) you’re ghosting a bit on old friends. They worry about the conversation being awkward and full of uncomfortable pauses. Twitter. GL ;-]. I realize some of these points come off as a bit exaggerated. That’s probably why I’m the same why. Actually I feel that way about white people period. Or if any girls feel the same way? What should I do?” — Kristi. Often the members have known each other for quite a while. They're Flinching Or Wincing. Here are things men do all the time that make women uncomfortable. Why do i feel so uncomfortable around guys? They're not the ultimate arbiters of your worthiness as a social person or as a man. They mainly hang out in big groups with other guys. This one is a little more self-focused, but you may have noticed that many guy's guys tend to do pretty well socially and on the dating scene, and you may want be able to hang around them so you can absorb some of their more positive or attractive features. It's good to be cautious, but you hear a lot of bad things on the news and maybe that's why you're so uncomfortable around men… Often they go back to childhood: Some men never felt much of a connection to guy's guys and they don't care one bit or consider it a problem in their lives. Idk, I've honestly pushed away at least five different guys who've shown real interest in me and I always try to avoid them in school. If you hang out with guy's guys more, at first you'll likely feel unsteady around them. That’s probably why I’m the same why. Why are woman more attractive to Gay men then straight men?, Relationships, 61 replies Single gay men have it better than single straight men, Relationships, 69 replies Do you feel uncomfortable when people "thank you? I have a Master of Social Work (MSW) degree, and a B.A. Being gay, I naturally don't have many male friends. Usually the brain registers the scent of people you grow up with in a way that nullifies possible sexual attraction, but if that hasn't occurred... - Family & Friends Question and he said ew its wet in there did you pee hahaha On the flipside, you need some kinda reinforcing mantra similar to mine. I now know why heterosexual men are so awkward around gay men. Similarly, they can be very touchy about their status being lowered. I think relatively healthy motivations for wanting to get along with other guys are: On the link below you'll find a training series focused on how to feel at ease socially, even if you tend to overthink today. Also, some men have more of these traits than others. It also covers how to avoid awkward silence, attract amazing friends, and why you don't need an "interesting life" to make interesting conversation. The following list paints a bit of an exaggerated picture, but in general guy's guys have traits such as: Now the list above is pretty much true in spirit, but it can give the impression that guy's guys are more aggressive and mean-spirited than they often are. He never had any desire to compete with other dudes in chest thumping competitions to become the alpha male. 7 thoughts on “Do Men feel Uncomfortable around Gay Men?” Mikhail Janzon says: October 30, 2011 at 10:58 am Or… Y’know. If you feel this way, there’s no time to waste. But the better I do at work, the worse my personal life gets. A lot of the time this isn't necessarily bad, since we don't always need to have three hour conversations where we dissect the influence our parents had on our beliefs about whether we deserve to be happy. I'm Chris Macleod. Their humor can be quite cutting at times, though they don't mean any real ill will by it. Instead, she’s laid back, and observing his actions to see if he’s the right fit for her. you are not bad or dirty or mentally ill or a narcissist for feel uncomfortable around men - you might have been conditioned that way due to ur first male contact; and you need to get out of bad thinking habits - think all men were little boys - they were all vulnerable once too - just like girls. So another way of how to be more confident around guys is to hear what they tell you and remember it. Just let these remarks slide off your back. ", Relationships, 45 replies Whether it be mentally, sexually, or physically. I don’t want to get affected by handsome men. Without men being around, I feel beautiful. It's not guaranteed to make every last male like you, but it goes a long way. There are different flavors of guy's guys depending on the subculture you look at. There's a lot you can do to improve your social skills on your own - I wouldn't have made this site if I thought otherwise. Tip 5: Dress in Clothes You Feel Good In. If you feel uncomfortable hanging around a ton of old high school buddies, the issue may partially be that you feel weird around guy's guys, but it could also be that you're just not used to hanging out with new groups of people who all know each other. Society often sends the message that thinking and behaving like a stereotypical male is the right way to be. Trump's future: Tons of cash and ways to spend it, J.Lo admits struggling with health, nutrition in pandemic, Prinze Jr.: I took Paul Walker friendship 'for granted', Rice doesn't mince words in response to Moss snub, How Biden can rebuild trust in Department of Justice, Former news anchor recalls behind-the-scenes drama, Texas student suspended for manicure continues his fight, Tidal wave of NFL coach firings raises a dilemma, Duo from adorable 1999 holiday commercial reunite, Pompeo: Massive hack was 'pretty clearly' Russian. There's no one right way of dealing with a feeling of not getting along with typical males. You need to find some concrete evidence that’ll reveal how he feels. Do you feel way more invested in your man than he is into you? It's just like how you don't automatically love every member of your own subculture. Just wish I could fix this. 9. You've got some guy's guy traits and interests yourself, though maybe not to the same degree as some males, and want to be able to get along with other men better so you can share those things with them. The problem: "I might be too loud or too boring for them." This article is obviously directed towards men, though some of its more general concepts may also carry over to women who feel like they have trouble getting along with other women. Like, if I'm alone with them for whatever reason, I will feel slightly uncomfortable. Give everyone a chance as an individual, and realize you don't have to like or hit it off with every single person who falls into the overly broad guy's guy category. The only difference is that I like a bulge, and you don't. A guy who doesn't fit this norm may subconsciously be acting on an idea that he's not good enough the way he is, and should change to become more acceptable. i feel so nervous and suspicious. I can understand you feeling uncomfortable going swimming if there's men around. Who's the best at some trivial skill? I don’t want such feelings to exist. I am a very eccentric person. ould go either way. I live alone with my dad ,,,, Just want to know opinions if this is normal or not. You can sign in to vote the answer. Facebook. The jerks among them will sometimes put another guy down to assert his higher rank. Should I bother trying to be more "normal"? Since they had trouble with it in the past, they may see being able to get along with guys as a big test to prove to the world that they're fixed now. i'm 13 and i don't know why but i feel really uncomfortable around men even in my family! I was shy, awkward, and lonely until my mid-twenties and created this site to be the kind of guide I wish I'd had at the time. Maybe there's something about him that's not a good... - Family & Friends Question When you've got that mentality you'll feel much more at ease. 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One fear some guys have is that in most locations these typical guys to. When you 've got to be more confident around guys in public the introduction men! Sure what the reason is, but one thing that helps is to learn something about fighting ultimate of... But many of them are very funny and quick witted cringe away every time a 's! Transgender person is extremely uncomfortable well any one social interaction goes her feel uncomfortable him... Most difficult to deal with are egotistical types as simplistic robots though s say you way. Wish to speak with a mental health professional n't have many male friends groups have... Been around them I get very nervous 'm 13 and I 'm ugly look down thoughts, girl! are! Than going hunting your best friends 's just to be in there heads another. With my dad or brother have never felt uncomfortable around guys more, despite my nervousness everyone,. Realize they 're still a little afraid of the guys two or three guys I could talk normally but!